You are not managing memory loss. You are standing with someone whose world stopped making sense. Nearly every difficult behavior is a reasonable response to feeling lost, rushed, corrected, or touched without warning. Find the fear, and the technique becomes obvious.
Three Rules That Replace Arguing
Learn These Three Sentences By Heart
The Same Question, For the Ninth Time
Don't argue or try to use logic — the person may not remember he or she asked already. Give the person the answer they're looking for, even if you have to repeat it several times. Repetition is often anxiety asking to be soothed, not information being requested. Boredom is also an answer — engage the person in an activity.
When It Escalates
Do
- Back off, and ask permission
- Slow down · add light
- Offer a choice between two things
- Reassure, in calm positive statements
- Cut noise, glare, the television
Do Not
- Raise your voice
- Show alarm or offense
- Corner, crowd, or restrain
- Criticize or ignore
- Argue
Ten Symptoms of Caregiver Stress — Count Yours Honestly
If you experience any of these signs on a regular basis, make time to talk to your doctor. Nationally, 59% of dementia caregivers report high to very high emotional stress, and more than one in four has been diagnosed with depression.
New Jersey Will Help Pay for Your Break
Statewide Respite Care Program — for unpaid family caregivers; you pay 0–25% on a sliding scale. JACC — age 60+, needs help with 3+ daily activities, up to $1,090/month. You cannot have both; pick one. Apply for either through your county office on aging: 1-877-222-3737.